BUFFIE
"I'm just Buffie.
Silly, crazy, blonde Buffie.
When I was a kid, I was your normal string-bean girl.
Then I turned 12 and hormones did their magic, padding my bony ass
and building legs around my knobby knees...
Time wore on and I just kept gettin bigger (everywhere but my chest,
anyway, sheesh!).
So eventually, I was a bona fide BBW. Only problem was, I had no
extra boobs to speak of.
It's tough to be Lynda Carter, Candye Kane or Barbie without boobs...
Which was a problem because my aspiration in life was to be Wonder
Woman,
Zaftig, Blues Singer, Sexy Blonde with a kickass wardrobe, dream house,
pink Corvette and giant bubble boobs.
Now I have almost all that junk! Except for the Wonder Woman part.
OK and not the Blues Singer part.
Maybe the dream house part, but it ain't bad.
I definately don't have the pink Corvette ... Meow!" |
